Measuring is an every day, every other moment occurrence in the world. I do not mean in terms of just cooking, building finding the right size shoe. There is something inside of us that at times, cannot help but to measure ourselves against strangers, peers, friends and even family. While this may be a conventional form of quantifying where exactly we stand in life… I will contend that it can also be troubling and counter-productive. The ability to measure is used to define success in certain areas such as music sales, work productivity and healthy eating. In my mind, when we measure ourselves against other people, we can often sell ourselves short.
What is it about us that compels the need to measure ourselves against others? Is it vanity that makes us look at someone and think that we are smarter, prettier or more capable than them? Is it an insecurity, the need to project a false sense of confidence of being better? Maybe instead of looking at others to measure ourselves, it would be more beneficial to just look in the mirror. While for some it may not be easy! In the end, this is where we can find a true measurement.
Society does not make it easy on us! There are few companies that preach in being ok with what you wear, how much money you have (or don’t) and even what we aspire our bodies to look like. Social media is another factor that oozes of negativity at times. Over the recent while, articles of body-shaming have become more rampant. EG… The Playboy model who took pictures of the woman in a California gym. That was a little bit ago but is a glaring example of someone who may be viewed as pretty on the outside, is horrific on the inside! One of the latest instances I had seen is where a man went on Tinder to body-shame a full figured woman. It is in these moments where having the ability to accept, respect and love ourselves is of the GREATEST importance.
Most of my life, I grew up as the kind of guy who was ALWAYS good enough to be the girls best friend, but never the boyfriend. Ah yes, the dreaded friend zone! LoL! I used to question so much about myself. My looks mostly! Inside I knew that I was a great person; caring, smart (most of the time), loyal, etc… But why was that not good enough? More importantly, why was that not good enough for ME? It wasn’t until much later in my life that I realized that I am good enough. It took a lot of time questioning, crying and wallowing in self-pity before FINALLY saying; ” I am not just good enough, I am GREAT!” I focused on what made me the person that I am, taking all my great qualities and harnessing that energy and projecting it in positive ways. There was the realization it wasn’t about brands, money or status. It was about carrying myself with respect, dignity and self-love that would provide me with the strength to move forward. Even when those tried REALLY hard to hold me back!
It is really easy to look at ourselves and see the things we don’t like. Then it can be even tougher when we compare ourselves to others. You and me, we have so many great qualities to offer. Not just ourselves but to others. WE just have to believe that! There is something to be said for finding that “inner peace.” It took me what seems forever, but I believe I finally found it. My life has been so different, in a positive way! So I ask all of us to take time and find the things that make us the great person that we are. Maybe we can write it down on a piece of paper by the mirror? Look at it and write down something positive, every day or every other day. Build that list! It is NEVER too late to start realizing that when we measure ourselves in negative ways, it only pushes us farther away from accepting who we truly are. Then we would be missing out on the GREAT person we can easily find looking back us in the mirror…